by Kristina Mulligan
Flynn, you are my extraordinary. A shining star in all ways, even trapped inside four walls.
We spend a lot of time at home nowadays. We have lots of fun most of the time, but I know you miss your “people” and our walks around Target. I do, too.
There have been a lot of plans that were cancelled, a lot of playdate requests that have been turned down, and so many items on our “Summer Bucket List” that just won’t happen. But, you still smile, even though I know this has been a struggle.
You don’t really understand the “whys,” but you definitely are affected by the “nos.” You don’t realize that we don’t have a choice in this. I’m sure you sometimes even think that you’re being punished for something. And that’s very hard.
It’s even harder when you see other people just living their lives, seemingly unaffected. Some people have more of a “choice” than we do, and that’s dfficult to explain to a child. And it’s impossible to even begin to rationalize behavior of those who are selfishly carrying on as if this virus hasn’t ripped apart so many families. As if their lives are more valuable than yours, someone who couldn’t simply “bounce back” from an illness like this.
It infuriates me. It brings me to the most heartbroken tears. It makes me want to shake people and make them understand.
I want them to look you in the eyes and tell you why. Maybe they’ll be able to provide the answers as to why their day at the beach is more important than your health and safety – your ability to breathe and live. Perhaps someone can give you the answers I cannot.
And if they’re willing to hear it, I want to remind them to think of you and consider how their actions are affecting you, and others like you. I’d tell them that not only are you stuck inside for your health, but you also lack the support and services you require. “Please decide to be selfless. For Flynn,” I’d say.
Someday, I hope that my faith in humanity is restored. I hope that your life will be equivalent and worth protecting in the eyes of society. To me, you’re not disposable. You’re simply irreplaceable. You’re extraordinary.
Kristina Mulligan is a Preemie Parent Mentor for Graham’s Foundation. She also has a great preemie blog to follow: One in a Mulligan