Written by Calista Wilson
Part 3 in a 3 part series
After we spent a month in NICU we were headed home! We were lucky to be going home without any monitors. Even so we were terrified of our hour and a half drive home. We even had to stop at our doctor office and get a base weight. My husband and I were a nervous mess!
The first night was pretty typical I guess. Up most of the night keeping track of cc’s eaten and spilt, wet and dirty diapers, and pumping when I could. Corbin struggled with eating. We kept a log of every time he ate and how much. We knew he had to eat 46 cc to keep his now 5 lb weight. He must have known, because he wouldn’t eat anymore than what was required. Since he wasn’t a strong eater he would wake up and I would make a bottle of breast milk. It would take him almost 45 minutes to eat under 2 ounces. I would then pump for another 30 minutes. This was every 2 hours so sleep wasn’t happening.
I worked for a small business that didn’t offer maternity leave so in order to keep my health insurance I couldn’t miss more than 6 weeks of work. For all of you that have had million dollar babies know how important health insurance is! For me this meant only getting 1 week at home with Corbin before leaving him again. That first week home was constant worrying. Is he eating enough? Is he gaining weight? Are we going to end up back in the hospital? We checked in with our doctor twice that first week and lucky for us he had gained a few grams!
2 weeks went by. My grandfather, whom I am very close with, took a turn for the worst. My son and I were there by his side for his last words. His funeral was the actual due date for Corbin. Guess God wanted him to meet Corbin!
I met with my OBGYN for my first followup. I remember crying the entire appointment. My doctor told me I needed more sleep. I had a preemie baby who didn’t eat well and I worked full-time. HA!
Next came the colic. Anyone who had ever experienced this knows it should be a 4 letter word. I know my little man was trying to catch up and I’m sure his little body was tired. He would cry for 6 hours straight. My heart would break. I would get off work and push him outside in a stroller until dark. Wake up at 3am and drive around until I had to be at work, then do it all over! My medical bills started to pour in, my baby cried most of his wake hours, my grandfather had just died and I lived on no sleep. I would get in the shower just to cry. We did many tests and sonograms to make sure nothing was wrong with Corbin and it was just colic. I didn’t know how depressed I was at the time. My body had failed me and almost took the life of my child, I couldn’t soothe him or breast feed. I don’t know how we got through it. I learned to take one day at a time. In the pit of my stomach I knew my sweet baby boy would be fine. And he was
My son is now almost 5. YAY! Every day that goes by I think about our journey. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. The amazing child that came from it and the things we have learned along the way. I wouldn’t change a thing!
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