This week has been absolutely crazy. I’ve had many conversations with others about being pregnant because most of my friends are currently expecting. To be honest, most of them are almost to the end of it and at that “ready for it to be out” stage.
As a preemie mom, I find myself telling them that since I never got to that point in my pregnancy so I have a hard time relating to that. Their response nine times out of ten is “You’re SO lucky”.
I know they don’t mean any harm but my thought is lucky? Hardly. I find myself slightly jealous of them getting to finish out their pregnancies. I wanted that, too. I wanted my little one to be born completely healthy. I find myself thinking: My feet never got so swollen. My belly never got huge to where I couldn’t see my feet. In fact this picture was taken the day before Dusty was born at 30 weeks.
I didn’t get to take my little one home when they sent me home. I watched my little one struggle to live for over a month. Then it crosses my thoughts that I have a bond with my son like none other. I was there every day for 47 days, praying that he would grow big and strong. We learned how many friends and family we really had.
I never take any day for granted because I know how each one could have been his last. I know that as a parent of a preemie, sometimes parents of full term babies may not always understand what an impact having a preemie can have on us moms.
My preemie will be two in October and I’m still watching every little move he makes and worrying about everything he does or doesn’t do. It’s hard not to. I can honestly tell you all these thoughts are completely normal for preemie moms and dads. It’s normal to want that “normal” pregnancy. Its normal to have feelings of jealousy toward those who do get to carry full term. The only advice I have is to not let your feelings get in the way of being happy for your friends and family in the joyous occasions in their lives.
Preemie parents know what it’s like to be so excited to have a little bundle of joy in our lives. But our emotions are mixed. Does everyone else get it? No. Do we have advice and experiences that they don’t? Yes. The best part is that we can use our experiences and advice to help soon-to-be moms (preemie moms or full-term moms) during this time in their life.
Hope y’all have a great week
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