8 Things to Say (and Do) for Parents of a Premature Baby
Discover 8 heartfelt phrases and 5 practical ways friends and family can offer real comfort and support to parents of premature babies.
If you are wondering what to write or say to a parent of a premature baby
The most important thing is to be genuine, encouraging, and specific about your support. Simple, heartfelt words like “Congratulations, your baby is beautiful” paired with tangible help, such as offering a ride to the NICU or dropping off a meal, can make a world of difference for parents navigating the NICU.
Premature birth can be overwhelming for new parents. Their days may be filled with hospital visits, medical updates, and emotional ups and downs. As a friend or family member, your words and actions can help them feel less alone during this time.
Understanding the Preemie Parent Experience
Before you decide what to say, it helps to understand what preemie parents are going through:
The NICU rollercoaster: Progress can change daily, even hourly.
Emotional strain: Parents may feel joy, fear, pride, guilt, and exhaustion all at once.
Physical demands: Frequent hospital trips, disrupted sleep, and physical recovery from birth.
Social isolation: They may miss milestones, events, and everyday interactions.
Because of this, even well-meant comments can sometimes hurt. Your goal is to acknowledge their journey, celebrate their baby, and offer meaningful help.
8 Things to Say to Preemie Parents
Here are eight thoughtful things you can say, along with why they work.
“Congratulations! Your baby is beautiful.”
Why it works: Every baby deserves celebration. This shifts focus from worry to joy.
“When can I come visit you and the baby?”
Why it works: Shows you want to be present, while letting parents set boundaries.
“It’s okay to feel however you feel, and I’m here to listen anytime.”
Why it works: Validates emotions without pressure to be positive all the time.
“You’re doing an amazing job. You’re stronger than you know, and your baby is strong like you.”
Why it works: Affirms their strength and their child’s resilience.
“Can I give you a ride to or from the hospital? Or watch the kids so you can visit?”
Why it works: Specific offers remove the burden of asking for help.
“If you’d like company in the NICU, I’d be happy to just sit with you.”
Why it works: Quiet presence can be deeply comforting.
“How are you holding up, and what can I do to help today?”
Why it works: Encourages honest conversation and immediate support.
“I want to know more about your baby’s journey. What can I share with others for you?”
Why it works: Helps share updates without parents repeating difficult news.
5 More Ways to Support Beyond Words
Your presence and actions can speak just as loudly as your words. Here are practical ways to show support:
Deliver a NICU-friendly care package
Include snacks, self-care items, hand lotion, a notebook for medical notes, and a cozy blanket.
Send encouraging notes or texts
A short “Thinking of you” or “You’ve got this” can brighten a hard day.
Organize a meal train
Coordinate friends and family to provide meals so parents do not have to think about dinner.
Help with everyday chores
Offer to do laundry, mow the lawn, walk pets, or grocery shop.
Be the update messenger
Share updates with extended family or friends on behalf of the parents, with their permission.
Follow the Parent’s Lead
There is no one-size-fits-all script for supporting a preemie parent.
If they are distraught, offer comfort.
If they are laughing, join them in that joy.
If you see a need such as childcare, food, or errands, fill it without being asked.
Most importantly, avoid assumptions about their baby’s health or development. Every preemie’s journey is unique.
Sample Note for a Preemie Parent
If you are writing a card, here is a heartfelt example:
Dear [Parent’s Name],
Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I can only imagine the strength it takes to navigate this journey, and I am here for you in any way you need, whether that is listening, helping with errands, or simply sitting with you at the hospital. Please know you and your little one are in my thoughts every day.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What should I write to a preemie parent?
A: Write something heartfelt, encouraging, and focused on both the baby and the parents. Celebrate their new arrival and offer specific ways to help.
Q: How do you comfort someone with a baby in the NICU?
A: Be present, listen without judgment, offer practical help, and follow their lead on what they need.
Q: What should you not say to a NICU parent?
A: Avoid comments that minimize their experience, make comparisons to other babies, or offer unsolicited medical advice.
Helpful Resources
Order a NICU Care Package to send comfort to a family.
View our Resource Library for preemie parents and supporters.
Read: What to Expect with a Premature Baby | NICU & Preemie Parent Guide
